SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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