Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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