He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have already put on my inside pants.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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