It's like God shit irony all over that family
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
