After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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