its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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