She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
