Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Vodka?
Forever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
