Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She needs sedatives and a leash
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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