I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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