Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
