Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
After tacos, we're chasing women.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
