I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
