i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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