forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
