just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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