Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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