What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel like abortions should bother me more
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
