you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
