so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
