Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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