I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize