This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
