Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Fuck appropriateness.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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