Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
