What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
