I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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