Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
