And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
