Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
