Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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