C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
