The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
