Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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