is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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