On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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