That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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