Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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