I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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