Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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