That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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