I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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