they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
