So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
