Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
