In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
