dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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