Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
