life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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