So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
