when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
