Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
