Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My Higher Power is John Stamos
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
