i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
