His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
