You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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