There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
