ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
