Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
