i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
